GROWING WITH SCOOBY

My wonder years were made extra special by cartoons, as with most kids. Flinstones, Jetsons, The Addams Family, Popeye The Sailor and others filled my hours with magic. None, however, compared with the inimitable Great Dane, Scooby-Doo.

For the half hour every day that Scooby was on air, I promptly left the job on hand and made a dash for the remote. I always had to fight to get control of it, what with my entire family pouncing on it at the same time. I would simply raise the give-me-the-remote-or-I'll-tear-the-place-down shrill and voila,'Scooby-Doobey-Doo, Where Are You?' would waft through. My family would leave the room, cursing its fate but finding consolation in the silence that enveloped the house while I was away on some super Scooby adventure. There are so many little things in the show that one comes to love. For one, the Scooby Snack always gave Popeye's spinach a run for its money. I also came to correlate Velmas spectacles with intelligence and longed to have a similar pair for myself.

Scooby taught me some valuable lessons while growing up. He remained the eternal chicken, even though every episode ended with the ghost myth being busted. Before Scooby entered my life, I suffered from cynophobia, a persistent fear of dogs. I would be exaggerating if I claim to be cured of it now, but I am far better off. If dogs themselves get scarred, they're not so scary, are they? Calvin and Hobbes, Asterix and Obelix, Scooby and Shaggy make for some of the best tales of friendship.

With Scooby, I found mine. I could never make my parents watch the zany dog for more than a minute. I was more successful with my sister, who would join Scooby and the gang occasionally. Whether she did it to humour me or because she liked it herself, I can't say. It was 'bonding time' for us, and in this we agree.

Harry Potter came, Pokemon and Bablade are here, but none can create the magic Scooby did so seemingly effortlessly. But there is hope. I caught my two-year-old cousin watching Scooby the other day, thoroughly enjoying himself. The magic will continue after all.

BOOYWOOD: Reel, Real Jodhabai

Historians are more or less unanimous that Jodhabai, the so-called Hindu queen of Akbar and Jehangir's mother, is nothing more than a yarn spun by scriptwriters of Bollywood. Director Ashuthosh Gowarikar is, therefore, only restating an historical fiction in his next film. But one sees no harm in tweaking history to make a flick so long as it is interesting and the movie-maker keeps the records straight. As did Ketan Mehta when he made The Rising. After all, one does not watch a movie to learn history. This, of course, is not to deny that the Kachhwaha Rajputs of Amber, who were ancestors of the later rulers of Jaipur, had given a daughter to the Mughals. She was the daughter of Bhagwandas, ruler of Amber, who was uncle and predecessor of Man Singh. Her name is lost in obscurity but she was married to prince Saleem and was the mother of Khusro. Was there a real Jodhabai? And if yes, what role did she play in the Mughul court? Noted historian James Tod provided the answers in his magnum opus Annals and Antiquities of Rajasthan, first published as Annals of Rajputana in 1832.

The author mentions that there indeed was a Jodhabai, daughter of Raj Singh. She was married to Jehangir. And yes, she called the shots in the Mughal court. To give just one instance, she used her influence with Jehangir to secure the throne of Amber for Jey Singh, the grandson of Jagat Singh. It was no small feat. For, it was achieved against the wishes, and much to the dismay of the all-powerful Noor Jehan. This Jodhabai must have been a remarkable woman. It is said that when Jehangir asked Jey Singh (who was later conferred with the title of Mirza), to make a salaam to the queen as a token of gratitude to her, he refused saying it was against the tradition of the Rajputs. This was no small effrontery to a Mughal queen. But Jodhabai not only made light of this by laughing but also bade the new prince of Amber well.

Perhaps it's time the film-makers of Bollywood gave up their obsession with the fictional Jodhabai and planned a film on the real one. It would make a far more interesting movie.

THE TICKET: A French Kiss in India- PONDICHERRY

How I Went:- Jumped into a bus at Chennai's Mofussil Bus Depot for a three-hour ride with blaring Tamil music accompanying me down the magnificent beach-lined East Coast Road. Taxis and luxury buses are available, but this is the best way to savour the local flavour.

What I Did:- Checked into an extremely basic and incredibly sanitary room labelled 'Freedom' at the Park Guest House, which is affiliated to the Aurobindo Asharam. Peace, Cheer, Friendship, Serenity.....and many other delightful names offer a balcony with an untrammelled view of a tranquil garden and the Bay of Bengal. I spent a glorious week exploring the symmetrical French quarter of this exquisite town that was under the control of the French government till 1954. There's a whole other side to this city(regular Indian messopolis), but i preferred to keep to the tree-lined boulevards with ornate names.

What I Saw:- All the Pondyessentials.... I strolled down Avenue Goubert(Beach Road) every evening. Lingered over the French War Memorial and Mahatma Gandhi's statue. Watched the gendarmes in their red French caps patrol. Whispered in awe by the samadhi of Sri Aurobindo and the mother at the Aurobindo Ashram. Saw the memorials to poets Subramanita Bharathi and Bharathidasan and all the museums, popped in at the Alliance Francaise and scouted for rare French books at the Romain Rolland Library. Checked out the firangs baking themselves red on Auro Beach. Gasped at the Technicolour beauty of the temples (some date back to the Chola era). Dined on superb continental fare at Le Club and rather iffish Chinese along the beachfront. Found peace as well as the world's largest crystal in the white-on-white environs of the Matri Mandir meditation dome at Auroville(14kms away).

What I Learnt- That Pondicherry plays host to an annual International Yoga Festival in early January-an other reason to go back!

What I Liked:- The stately colonial buildings and vast white and yellow villas with scarlet bougainvillae spilling over artistic gates looked like they belonged in another era of another country. The people were friendly, talkative and very contemporary.

What I Recommend:- With its air of sparkling purity, Pondicherry's great for a holiday that eases jangled nerves. Don't go if you're looking for water sports, discotheques or lavish spas. But if you seek a relaxed sojourn that doesn't cost the earth, yet gives you a taste of the good life with a bit of culture and spirituality thrown in, this is the right place for you.

BOLLYWOOD: What Ails Today's Period Films?

The Indian film industry is going through an interesting phase of sequels and remakes. Period films are also in. But tackling the historical genre is easier said than done and often, attention to detail is lacking.

The crux of any period film is extensive research. But that's been neglected in Bollywood for the last 30 years. Forget Hollywood, where it's not uncommon to have historians acting as consultants on the sets. Many of today's Bollywood films don't even match up to films made by Indian directors decades ago. When Satyajit Ray was making Shatranj Ke Khiladi, he shopped, ate and lived in Lucknow for months while researching the film. And it showed in every frame. K Asif took 10 years to make Mughal-E-Azam.

It's a far cry from then to last year's Umrao Jaan, which was woefully lacking in authenticity. Shot against the backdrop of Rajasthan's hilly terrain, replete with lakes and boulders, director JP Dutta's Umrao misses a date with Lucknow's topography, which has no hills or lakes. Anther glaring inconsistency with history was showing Umrao aka Aishwarya Rai taking a dip in a pool, in fact there never was a pool in Umrao's time.

JP Dutta however contends that he didn't shoot in Lucknow because of the dismal condition of heritage buildings there. Other reasons for films set in UP giving the state a go by could be the law and order situation there and government apathy. That's one reason why film Omkara wasn't shot there.

But none of this had stopped Muzaffar Ali, who hails from the royal lineage of Kotwara, when he made Umrao Jaan with Rekha. Ali did extensive research, sourced authentic nawabi jewellery-mostly from his personal collection-clothes of his ancestors, and most of the props from his home.

Even Ketan Mehta who spent years researching for Mangal Pandey, took cinematic liberties. The film's climax is far-fetched. The way Mangal is hanged is weird. In reality, it wasn't that dramatic.

Even Asoka, wasn't authentic. It was largely shot on outside locales, mostly on rocks and green pastures. Hardly any sets or costumes were used.

Ditto for Devdas, the film was too opulent as compared to original. The director even changed the story, there never was a meeting between Chandrmukhi and Paro in the original. Even the coloured glasses, buildings and dresses were larger that-life.

Some films however do make an attempt at being authentic. Parineeta was one. The story which is set in Kolkata of the 1920s, is juxtaposed in the 1960s to suit current sensibilities.

Similar care has been taken in The Legend of Bhagat Singh, where the writer, Anjum Rajab Ali took months to research the subject.

However period films lack in research mostly to suit the look of the film. In Devdas, the director made the film look opulent as he knew it would rake in the moolah.

Popular Hindi Cinema anyway doesn't draw from reality. Entertainment is what drives it. Where Karan Johar and Yash Chopra can pass off Switzerland and New York as Mumbai or even Himachal Pradesh. Where buildings in Bhansali's Devdas don't look like a part of Kolkata.

I don't think these filmmakers really care? They don't have the time or inclination to go into details. All they look out for is a big star and making quick money.

URBAN HEROINES

Till a year ago, The Oval Maidan in Mumbai was an eyesore. This heritage site was a haven for drug pushers, pimps, sex workers, card sharps and all sorts of anti socials. Morchas headed for Mantralaya were a daily nuisance and virtually every inch of the pavement opposite Churchgate Station was usurped by hawkers leaving pedestrians with no space to walk. In other words Oval Maidan was not what it was meant to be- a much-needed green belt for residents in south Mumbai.

A fact that disturbed Neera Punj, Nayana Kathpalia and Kunti Oza very much. Punj, after a long stint abroad, had returned to live near Churchgate, and Kathpalia, an activist with INTACH in Delhi, had shifted base to Mumbai where her home faced the historic Oval Maidan. Oza had lived all her life in the city. The three enterprising women rallied around to set things right. It wasn't easy. They were mocked at, officials were amused and dismissed these 'English-speaking mems'.

But the committed trio, fully aware of their rights, knocked at the doors of the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC), local government representatives and finally the Bombay High Court- all this in the early 2000s.

Their relentless crusade eventually paid off. Today morchas have been banned in the area and are stopped at Azad Maidan, the Oval Maidan has been restored to its pristine glory and pedestrians are able to walk on the pavements opposite Churuhgate. Success breeds success. The three are now much sought after for guidance and help by residents' groups spread across the city. Their initiative- Citizens Forum for Protection of Public Space, better known as CitiSpace-now has over 500 paid members who are consulted by the BMC each time an issue of open space arises in the city.

Moral of the story,'If citizens wish to improve the quality of life around them. They can do it. But they have to step out.'

THE TICKET: The Paradise On Earth 'KEDARNATH'

DESTINATION:- KEDARNATH, UTTARAKHAND (INDIA)

I started my journey on 26th May 2006 for 3 days. Early morning i started from Kotdwara Garhwal. I passed through places like Pauri, Srinagar, Rudraprayag, Karanprayag, Agastya Muni, Guptakashi, Son Prayag and Gaurikund.

It is believed that Srinagar was established by Shri Shankaracharya. The legend says that there was a man-eating rock at Srinagar called Sryntra. Sri Guru Shankracharya threw it in the river. The very name, 'Srinagar' meaning the dwelling place of God conveys the immense sanctity of the town. It is believed that the river Alaknanda writes 'Om' near Srinagar.

From Srinagar Garhwal i reached Rudraprayag, the holy Confluence of the Alaknanda and the Mandakini. I halted there for about an hour had a quick look of the place and the beautiful river flowing by. An iron chain has been fixed at the confluences where steps lead to the water. The place derives its name from Rudra, one of the names of lord shiva. It was here that the pride of Narad was humbled. There are various temples of Shiva and Annapurna Devi at Rudraprayag. I had my lunch and took photographs.

The road to Kedarnath is along river Mandakini. The valley is enchantingly beautiful. The scenery is rugged and captivating the first place of interest is a wide open plain called Agastya Muni where Rishi Agastya meditated. The legend goes that at time of Shiva's marriage to Parvati, all creatures of the world reached Kedarkhand. The earth tilted towards the North and Shiva himself asked Agastya to go to South to restore the balance. The Muni pounded down the Vindhyas and reached Pothia which is also called Kailas of the South.

The first major place after Agastya Muni is Gupta Kashi, a small town with a bazaar on both sides of the road. It was here that Shiva disappeared from the Pandavas, thus giving the name Kashi to the place. It is believed that in the first part of Kalyuga, kashi would be most sacred, in the second part Uttarkashy and at the end Guptakashi.

Passing Rampur, I reached Sitapur from where one track leads to Triyugi Narayan to the left, and the other to Kedarnath. It is said that the marriage between Shiva and Parvati was performed at triyugi Narayan which was the capital of Himavat.

As i move on, I reached Son Prayag, also called Sondwara or Swarna Dwara. It is said that there was a Swarnadwara here which was taken away by the Rohillas. After five km i came to Gauri-kund by evening. It is the last motor head on the route to Kedarnath. After reaching Gaurikund i looked for a lodge. After keeping my luggage, I had a glance of Gauikund.

There are two Kunds-Tapta kund and Gaunkund. Tradition says that Parvati meditated here to propitiate Shiva. There is also a huge rock Uma Shankar Shila. It is said that the spirits of 12 rishis who followed Mahadeva from Srilanka after their expulsion from there, reside in the Shila. Near by are image of Gauri, Radha Krishna and JwalaDevi.

After seeing Gaurikund, I had my dinner and went to bed. My spirit was high thinking about the next day's trekking to Kedarnath temple which was about 14 kms.

The next morning, at about 6O'Clock well-equipped, I started climbing. People of old age were seen on Palkees and horses. On the way i could find only small petty shops and after about 7 kms i reached Rambara. Its a small seasonal chatti. I could see several water falls near to this place. After having light refreshment, I proceeded further.

Just short of Kedarnath, the ascent is steep. The tree-line is left a little a head of cheer Basa Bhairav. The temple comes in view from a distance of about three kilometers viewed against the background of snow-covered peaks. The temple looked gorgeous.

Shri Kedarnath is the shrine of Lord Shiva located in the Garhwal region of Uttarakhand. A common saying in Gahwal is "Jitne kankar, utne shankar," meaning that there are as many temples of Shiva as there are stones in Garhwal.

Situated on the left bank of the Mandakini, the Kedarnath temple is located at the head of a cup-shaped valley measuring about five kilometers by two kilometers. It is an imposing building with an impressive facade. The Mandakini flows in a serpentine fashion along the side of Kedarpuri, a satellite village of the temple. The shrine is one of the 12 most sacred temples of shiva called Jyotir Lingas. It is a stone structure with huge slabs believed to have been put by Bhim. The temple was erected at the site where Bhim ultimately located Pashupati Nath. It is also said that the temple owes its construction to Janamijaya, the great grandson of Arjuna.

The shrine had fallen into decay during the Buddhist era and it was shri Adi Shankaracharya who re-established it. The most commonly believed tradition is that the Pandavas who followed Shiva up to here and were absolved of their sins, built the temple. After its completion, the Pandavas climbed Mahapath, or the great path which is located on the mountain behind the temple. The Pandavas ascended the heaven from here to merge into the Divine.

An imposing statue of Nandi stands outside the temple which can be divided in two parts. The front portion is known as the garbha gril and rear as Sabha bhavan. In the garbha grih, images of Parvati, Pandavas, Kunti, Draupadi, Krishna and Ganapati have been carved on stones laid on the walls. The five headed idol of shiva is in the middle. There are 24 images of avatars on the main gate and 64 images on the gate of the garbha griha. In the sabha Bhavan, a triangular icon of impressive dimensions covered by a canopy, represents the hinder parts of the divine buffalo.

The temple is closed for winters on the first day of Kartika falling during Oct-Nov. It's normally closed about a week prior to the shrine of Badrinath and is also opened earlies in Vaisakha. Corresponding to the end of April on early May. During winter, Kedarpuri is completely covered with snow; the accumulation of snow being about two metres high. The area around is marshy and devoid of any vegetation and fuel.

After having a good view of Kedarnath temple by afternoon i moved back to Gaurikund and reached by Sunset. Without having halting here, I headed towards Chamole Garhwal and stayed there. The next morning, after having breakfast, I headed towards Dehradun.

BOLLYWOOD: BODY LANGUAGE

Women in Hindi cinema are usually mass-produced by the same cookie cutter that functions on one golden rule: women are not sexually beings. Whether as mother, sister or lover, they are the repositories of values and remain unfailingly chaste. Sexuality is sublimated to thrust-and grind songs. The heroine may do the shimmy in a bustier but will walk into the sunset a virgin.

Or at least this used to be the case. Increasing market segmentation and the evolution of an urbane, multiplex audience are allowing filmmakers to stretch the mainstream straitjacket. A plethora of performers is no longer squeamish about onscreen love. Sex is out of the Bollywood closet and even though the Hindi film heroine largely remains a stylish Sati Savitri, making love no longer means having to say sorry.

Of course, skin and sexuality are not the same thing. Film-makers aren't hesitant about exploiting the former. As producer Mukesh Bhatt says, "The bottom line is that whether in Hollywood or Bollywood, sex sells." But understanding and portraying female sexuality is tougher. In truth, Bollywood is yet to come to grips with the modern Indian woman. Filmmakers speak of creating confident women, but this is hardly the case. Heroines might be glam dolls but few female characters have the depth of Nutan in Bandini or Nargis in Mother India. Bollywood remains a male-centric industry. Though the number of women directors is increasing- recent converts to direction include Remma and Farah Khan--a sensitive Bollywood film about female sexuality seems a few years away.

Why? For one, there are hardly any strong roles being written for women, leave alone those that explore something as tricky as sexuality.Distributors, burned by incessant flops are finding safety in multi-starrers. As two or three male stars strut their stuff,heroines are consigned to being clothes-horses in the margins. And even if such a script were written, filming it would be a Herculean hurdle.Though the mindset of actors has undergone a sea change, most filmmakers haven't still figured out how to film sex aesthetically.

In an essentially conservative society, popular entertainment is something that can be consumed by the whole family. Moreover the censor situation is complicated. Today people see censorship as repression, not guidance, and there is no control at the theatre. You can't have steamy scenes until this is fixed.

However, films like Jism, Murder, Page Three and Corporate hint that Bollywood is taking baby steps. Infact, Hollywood too went through a period of noir films before emerging with more complex female characters. Certainly, the door isn't wedged shut as it was before.

Bollywood:Slick, Sensible and Sensitive

A friend of mine asked why the Indian cinema of the 1990's was candyfloss, regressive, even retro-active. I don't think so. I think Indian cinema has always been soft-focus, melodramatic and feel-good. Every era has had its share of gloss. Was Dil Deke Dekho, made in 1959,not about young people having a rocking time? Was Waqt, made in 1965, not about fast cars and fast women?

The anti-establishment movies were cathartic for us, an outlet, an avenue of expressing our inner demons. What do we rebel against? We have nothing to complain about or battle against.

I don't think young people today are any different from what my father was when he was growing up. This is an impressionable age in every generation, and the big issues are always the same:you want to educate yourself, be in a good marriage, bring up your children well, get ahead in life. Whatever the era, the aspirations of the age are a constant Which is why you will always find some eternal values:good will always triumph over evil, hard work will win over obstacles, and youth will always bow down before age, but on its own terms.

What is remarkable about our generation, i think, is that we don't tolerate the vulgarity. I am sure these cheap music videos are consumed mostly by the under-15s with raging hormones or the over-40 leches with their underused libidos. The 18-35-year -olds are too busy making a life for themselves to stand and stare. And stare. You see it in those who define entertainment as well as those who consume it

What makes me tick now? Well, I think it's because our generation are neither idiots nor geniuses. I assume young people want to be entertained for three hours and at the end of it, want to think for 10 minutes. It could be about anything. Their families, their nation, their own lives.

BLOOD ON OUR HANDS

Just over a decade ago, Project Tiger was hailed as the success story for the preservation of not just the big cats but also all other wildlife. When the project was launched in 1973, the tiger population in the wilds had dropped to an alarming figure of just 1,800 as compared to the estimates of 40,000 before Independence. Apart from passing a stringent law banning the hunting of tigers, nine wildlife reserves were established. A scientific management plan saw, among other things, core areas, free of all human activity, being earmarked in each sanctuary.Regular patrolling by forest guards dissuaded poachers. Most important was the level of political commitment, with the late prime minister Indira Gandhi personally taking interest and even hauling up Forest Department officials for non-performance. More tiger reserves were soon established and today there are 27 of them in the prime forests of India. Tiger population in such reserves has grown from 268 when the project began to over 1500 now. The overall tiger population in the wilds is put at 3,500.

Now all this is being undone rapidly. Last year, the missing tigers of Sariska and Corbett National Park are an ominous signal that things are going terribly wrong in our wildlife preserves. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh rightly termed it as the "the biggest crisis in the management of our wildlife."

Political commitment at all levels is the key and any revamp must begin from the top. Like Indira, the Prime Minister should make preserving wildlife his personal mission. Also as wildlife conservationist Ullas Karanth says,"What needs to change is the self-denial approach by ministry and forest officials who continue to maintain that nothing is wrong."

The prime minister and Minister of Environment and Forest should call for a total review of all wildlife preserves on an urgent basis and take remedial measures. If we don't do this soon enough the roar of the tiger in Indian forests may echo only in Kipling's books.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Anyone who complains about the tabloidisation of news channels in India- and that includes me-ought to have watched CNN's Oscar-style coverage of the wedding of Arun Nayar and Liz Hurley. Call it the Breaking News Effect but the channels chatted endlessly about Hurley's dress, her weight, tea towels,etc-etc.

It our country, it takes a sometime victim like actor Shah Rukh Khan to articulate it. According to him, viewers can now instinctively distinguish between real and commercial news. Perhaps real and surreal is more precise. How else do you describe a business news channel which showed us every bit of Abhishek-Ashwarya's engagement?

Everyone knows that's entertainment It's not so much about manufacturing consent (almost every news channel has a particular point of view in India, and thank God for it)as manufacturing content. That's because real stories are becoming difficult to do, or at least to sell. A lot is going wrong between the Government and the party that leads the UPA coalition but because Congressmen live in mortal dread of being caught saying the wrong thing, we are led to believe the problems are limited.

In the absence of any substantive progress on Kashmir, frankly, I can't wait to hear about what General Pervez Musharraf is going to have for breakfast. Lunch. And dinner.

CINEMA : WE ARE THE WORLD

FIVE INTERNATIONAL FILMS THAT JUST MIGHT MAKE YOUR LAZY WEEKEND COME ALIVE:-

1- CINEMA PARADISO (ITALY,1988):- In the dark confines of the Cinema Paradiso, a young boy and the other townsfolk try to escape from the grim realities of post-war Italy. The ambience is largely autobiographical, drawn from the memories of writer/director Giuseppe Tornatore who shows great affection for his characters, even when they suffer misfortune. Among the film's indelible images, perhaps the most memorable occurs when a film is projected on a town wall, creating an endearing contrast between differing realities.

2- IL POSTINO (ITALY,1994):- The relationship between the Chilean Nobel Prize winning poet Pablo Neruda and Mario, the postman who delivers his copious mail, is the focus here. Mario is a poet at heart and strives to win his way into the affections of the great author. Eventually, Neruda shares his leftist political philosophy as well-and helps him win over the captivating Beatrice, the woman of Mario's dreams.

3- CHILDREN OF HEAVEN (IRAN,1997):- After seeing so many American films in which family dysfunction is the norm, it can at first be unsettling to see a family whose members all love one another. Aside from the material loss, one of the things which causes the young boy Ali such pain is that his young sister Zahra worships him, and yet he has failed her.

4- ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER (SPAIN,1999):- Pedro Almodovar affectionately salutes the female spirit and alternative families in this one.The film is about Manuela's journey to Barcelona to find her dead son's father and assuage her grief. The unexpected fortitude and empathy she discovers with the help of a transexual, a stage diva, and a pregnant nun, turn All About My Mother into a joyful portrait of female bonding.

5- AMORES PERROS (MEXICO,2000):- Three stories of life along the margins in Mexico City converge in this inventive thriller. In his astonishing debut, director Alexandro Gonzalez Inarritu focuses on fractured human relationships. He brings his camera into the slums and condos and mines authentic perceptions about the strain of loyalties under the duress of an ironic, twisted reality.

SPACE TOILETTE

News reports say that Sunita Williams planned to send her long tresses back to Earth, to make a hair-piece for some handicapped person. Six months in orbit will give her enough time to grow them afresh. She would have had no problem getting them lopped off. Long strands of hair can be held easily as they are being cut. But where she to go in for a short trim, that would not be so easy. Because, in the zero gravity situation, bits of hair don't fall to the ground on their own. So whenever they are being cut, someone has to hold a vacuum appliance close to the subject's head to suck in all the trimmings.

It is same with bathwater when you take a shower. On its water would remain suspended in the air. So, every drop has to be tracked and sucked in. But absence of any gravitational pull has some advantages too. For example, one can wear one's trousers both legs at the same time. And it is possible to sleep while standing upright, or even turned upside down.

These are some of the quirks of life in space highlighted at Henry Crown Space Centre in the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Within its precincts, there is a To be an Astronaut show. As one queues up for it, there is a TV console on one side where one can press buttons and get answers to some FAQs about space travel. The subjects covered include sleeping, exercising, eating, extra-vehicular activity and hygiene on board the spacecraft.

Almost every visitor seemed to pressing the button for the last of them to seek an answer to a very fundamental question: How do they download human wastes in a zero gravity situation? How does it fall and get flushed out without the Earth's pull? Once again suction by powerful air action somewhere inside the WC bowl, similar to that of an exhaust fan, does the needful. But there still remains the problem of its disposal. The easiest course would be to jettison it into space and , probably, into a geosynchronous orbit of the Earth. But the demands of science have priority. So, it is all collected and carefully brought down to the Earth for medical research.

POEM: HAUNTING MEMORIES

It's really a daunting task,
To express the feeling deep down,
Somewhere within,
My fears take me to task,
And there are perplexed expressions.

The thin smile and faded glory,
Doth not give me rest and respite,
Memories are a continual source,
Of haunting bitterness.

There are some pleasant and flickering ones,
They take me to the vast,
And sprawling daffodils,
Some are my own feelings.

I don't know when are they going,
To find the right opening.
The day may be far,
The day may be near,
A leather hunt may,
Always be there.

WRONG 'UNS

One day on the morning India plays cricket you will switch on the TV and a scroll will flash:"Breaking News: Sachin flouts rules, has aloo parathas for breakfast. Trainer furious,players envious!"

News about cricket on TV is no longer about runs and wickets. It is about packaging gone potty. About international captains dressed up in medieval armour for the most
tasteless advertisements in the history of advertisements,about Sidhuisms, about nailing the "guilty" at the end of play, analysis programmes called "Silly Point", and anchors cutting live to reporters with brain-bogglers-"XYZ has just got a century. Hame bataaiye, what are his thoughts at this moment?" ("F***in'hell, just saved my a**.")

Then there is the meaningless micro-live coverage: the BCCI's working committee meetings, its team selections and now the movement of the cricketers before a big game. Well-coiffed men and women report live from outside hotels breathlessly announcing that the team bus is about to leave for the stadium. No one has yet hired a helicopter to track them to the ground but you never know. As things stand, the breakfast buffet is the next frontier. "What's it going to be for Bhajji today-skimmed milk or full cream? SMS us your answers, win a life-time supply of Amul Taaza tetrapacks."

Live cricket today is seven hours of action, in extreme close-up, direct to your living room. All other punditry on the idiot box is superflous unless there is a spin on it. Today there is more spin, less cricket. The idea of a day's play throwing up a "mujrim" is toathesome because we live in a country where real mujrims sit in government. Get a grip, everybody.

All is, of course, rationalised by the tyranny of the TRP, the need to grab eyeballs. So players of varying capabilities, agendas and IQS, cast as impartial gurus, prattle on for hours.No wonder the entire circus goes ballistic, looking for "mujrims" when India loses. No victories, no feel-good, no feel good, no ratings, no ratings,no ads,no ads, no moolah. And you thought facing the new ball against Australia was tough. Try turning sport into showbiz and we'll see how those Aussies do.

In keeping with flavour of the sleazon, the day a spycam is planted on the team bus or in the dressing room doesn't look too far away. Tip for Team India: mind your language, guys, and work on those abs.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY SPECIAL

GENDER GAP

Browsing through the World Economic Forum report on gender gap which places India a dismal 53rd amongst 58 countries, I was reminded of my tour to Tehri Garhwal on the eve of the formation of the state of Uttarakhand.As i approached Dehradun i got a feel of the euphoria as it must have been on the eve of national independence. From Rishikesh onwards, the markets were ablaze with bright half-green half-orange flags festooned on every shop, pole and pathway. Banners and ornamental gateways giving good wishes to new state stood every few metres. Come twilight, the building wore strings of gaily coloured light bulbs. Even as the official birth was yet to be, Dehradun Nagar Nigam had put up bright yellow banners at all entry points loudly proclaiming,'You are welcome to the state of Uttranchal'. All the men were out in the streets headed towards the parade ground where at the stroke of the midnight hour history was to be made. Bubbling with enthusiasm, a group of young men drove their two-wheelers in formation through the crowded marketplace, hands thrown up in the air, screaming and shouted with delight. The joie de vivre was infectious.

But where were the women? Strangely, they were ansent. Did they not perceive the change or were they wary of celebrating it? Through all the gaiety and merrymaking I could not help recall the four hill women I had crossed on my way down, their backs bent over with enormous loads of firewoods as they trudged miles just as they had been doing for years. They had quietly stepped aside to make way for the new chariots of statehood as they had whizzed past. While one who worked alone on her small terraced field weeding her sparse crop, waiting for her monthly money order from a husband or son, watched the passage.

All over our country women remain invisible. Their work is not counted for economic value and now they are going missing too. The gender gaps are all around; the report is only a reminder of reality.

LAGE RAHO BOLLYWOOD

" I like ideas, especially movie ideas, that you can hold in your hand. If a person can tell me the idea in 25 words or less, it's going to make a pretty good movie." Steven Spielberg may have grown up since he made that statement, gone on to the Holocaust and it's echoes in Munich, but it's a lesson Bollywood has memorised well last year. In 2006, Bollywood discovered it's future in the past. The year's three biggest hits- Dhoom:2, Krrish and Lage Raho Munna Bhai- are all sequels. Another hit, Don, was a remake.

But 2006 will be primarily remembered as the year Bollywood broke free. Rang De Basanti took Gen Next away from candlelight dinners to candlelight vigils. Lage Raho Munna Bhai brought Gandhism out of primary textbooks to college canteens. Omkara stirringly transported Shakespeare ot Saharanpur. And Dhoom:2, much like it's predecessor Dhoom, redefines celluloid sexiness as a lifestyle package: bad boys sandsurf in a Namibian desert, cool guys cruise on cooler bikes in virgin locales, and under-dressed girls play basketball in the rain.

Smaller filmmakers who had the courage to experiment were also rewarded by a fast-maturing audience. The long-delayed Khosla Ka Ghosla, where a middle-class family outwits land sharks, was one such film. But not all such movies clicked. Both Nagesh Kukunoor and Madhur Bhandarkar, who had directed offbeat hits (Iqbal and Page 3 respectively) faltered with Dor and Corporate. The movies delivered, not the paying public.

The year also showed that India's funny bone is getting better. Movies like Malamaal Weekly, Phir Hera Pheri, Tom, Dick and Harry, Golmaal, Apna Sapna Money Money and Pyar Ke Side Effects tickled the box-office in varying degrees.

Sooraj Barjatya's Vivah- a Hum Aapke Hain Kaun replay for the RDB generation- is the sleeper hit of the year. In Bihar, the movie is a blockbuster. Rajshri Productions proved once again a market still exists for the decent family drama on the big screen especially in smaller towns.

The return of Kajol in Aamir Khan superhit Fanna was also a much-awaited Bollywood event. And Naseeruddin Shah made a promising debut as director even though Yun Hota To Kya Hota flopped.

In 2006, Bollywood bounced back thanks to a string of superhit sequels. But some movies such as Lage Raho and Rang De Basanti didn't just make money. They slipped into your heart., tugged at your soul. This year Bollywood renewed our faith in the movies.